I see everyone, everywhere set their toddler on their hips and walk around the store, park, house…I can do none of those. My CMT causes weakness so carrying him even to his room from the living room can sometimes be a challenge. The worst part is when I take him out alone. Our house is set into a hill, so just to get to the main level, I need to climb 13 stairs. I know it’s 13 because I count every time I climb or go down them—I think it makes it more doable to me and coaxes each foot to take its step.

It was hard at first to carry the bucket carseat with a not-so-small infant, especially as he added weight and fast. I would rest it on the step ahead of me and take it literally a step at a time.

But when he outgrew it, and we moved to the convertible Chicco USA NextFit, wow did my challenge grow! I found myself leaving everything in the car, in the garage because I could not manage one other thing except Jameson in what became a 20-minute experience up or down the stairs.

Then light dawned on my marble head: I use the Baby K’tan carrier around the house and in cafes, so why not use it to help me move him from one area to the next. It may not be what most mothers do, but it gave me a glimpse of feeling like I could care for my son without help until he started walking.

The first time was cumbersome in my small one-car garage trying to maneuver him from his seat to my carrier, but once I got it down, I nearly jumped for joy. So I may look weird in a parking lot hefting my 30-pound son into the carrier when other moms are carrying their kids, but I don’t care! It works for me and I am SO grateful to Baby K’tan for being a carrier without snaps or buckles that I can’t do. And for not being a 90-foot piece of material that drags on the ground and makes me feel like I am doing rhythmic gymnastics.

It’s a 2-loop piece of cotton that conforms to my son’s and my body perfectly, adjusts and is wash-n-wear. I love it and it has allowed me the normalcy of being a mom who can leave the house with her son without help!